How I decide what to do with my kids is purely scientific. It’s a mathematical equation determined by the following variables: a) Their behaviour, b) My mood, and c) What is the Annoyance-to-Activity time differential, or activity’s AtoA rating.
The obvious Home Run then is: a) They’re good; b) I’m good; and c) the Activity gets a good AtoA rating.
a + b + c = happy
An example of such a Home Run would be- breakfast in bed for me* on a Sunday morning. (*NOTE: This mathematical formula is not transferable to your children or spouse, who may or may not agree with your calculations).
At the same time, the equation you want to be sure to avoid is:
(-a) + (-b) + (-c) = (un)happy
They’re fighting, you haven’t had coffee and the activity being considered is biking through gridlock traffic to the air show for a soggy picnic in goose droppings on the hottest day of the summer with half a million other people.
But aside from that, it really depends.
Allow me elaborate on the Annoyance-to-Activity time differential, or AtoA rating. If, for instance, we were thinking about going to a museum, I would consider how much time it is going to take to get to and from said museum, in comparison to how much time we would actually spend enjoying the museum.
A trip that takes 2 hours to get the kids organized, pack travel accoutrements, journey to the location, wait in line, and feed and relieve them before entering the exhibits compared to the 9 minutes it takes before they say they’re bored and want to leave, has a less than appealing AtoA rating. (And, by the way, for anyone saying, “make the trip part of the fun”, I say, “stop watching Disney movies; they’re distorting your parental reality”).
Now, this is not to say that such a poor AtoA rating means that the activity is automatically eliminated from consideration. That’s when any other possible annoyance, as well as the other two variables (their behaviour and my mood), are factored in. When thinking about the very same activity as described above, it may very well be that it’s pouring rain, the DVD player is broken and all of your board games were ruined in a basement flood. Under those circumstances, a poor AtoA rating on the museum may out-trump the AtoA rating of staying home in the claustrophobic confines of what becomes the newest neighbourhood attraction: The World of Whining.
In other words, if (a + b) is > than (C1- C2) = happy
As far as variables a) and b) are concerned, if they’ve been behaving well and I’m in a good mood, this, too, is an environment conducive to tolerating a less than optimal AtoA rating.
i.e. if (-c) is < a + b = happy
Finally, when writing out your equation, it is important to remember the x- factor: your significant other, in my case, my wife. The x-factor will always out-weigh the other variables, even in the most accurate of calculations. So, if you have input a (-c) for the air show...
a + b + (-c) = (un)happy
...don’t forget to add the x before sitting down to read the paper on your porch with another cup of coffee. With x, it could be instead...
a + b + (-c) / x = do it anyway
So, the bottom line is, when using my formula for deciding what to do with your kids, keep your calculators handy and remember, x is always > y.

See “Adam Growe’s The Mom and Pop Shop” Nov. 27, 2009 at The Markham Theatre
www.adamgrowe.com