It was four all-too-short years ago that my husband and I brought home the 9 pound 3 and a half ounce wonder named Ronan, looked at him lovingly and said, “ummm… so now what do we do?”  So I’m finding it a tough nut toswallow that he’s now asking if he can go to big kid school in September. How can that little bundle be old enough to be at school all day – with a lunch box? Without me.

I’ve had the good fortune of being a part-time stay-at-home mom and my son and I have found a wonderful routine for each day. We’ve hit our groove as a mom and child. The fact that he’s ready to change that groove and has expressed a desire to do so, should make me very happy. I should celebrate the fact that he’s growing into a confident, independent little person. I’m doing my job right it seems.

But it leaves me wondering what I’m to do now.
I’ll have all sorts of time for my yoga. I can practice during the day, rather than late in the evening. I can do both a breathing practice AND a posture practice all in one go, rather than trying to fit in bits and pieces, between chauffeuring to and from my son’s programs. I can go deeply into my yoga studies as I work through year 2 of my two-year yoga Teacher Training program. I can spend more time working through my Itsy Bitsy Yoga assignments for Tykes training. There will be all sorts of hours I can dedicate to my own passions and pursuits. I should be elated!

My problem is that I am more anxious and concerned about school (and really, the future), than he is. I have all sorts of scenarios wheeling around in my head about whether the education system will serve or fail him; whether there will be bullies to contend with; whether he’ll behave or be a class clown. What I have slowly come to realize however, is that Ronan is approaching the idea of school from entirely the right perspective: it’s a place to play, meet new friends and maybe learn stuff. There is excitement in choosing his first lunchbox, his first pencil case (yes, he wants a pencil case for JK), and buying new sneakers.

To deal with my over-active brain I have turned to meditation and very much to my own surprise: chanting. I’m not big into Mantra Yoga – the practice of chanting recitations, or spiritual teachings. However simply sitting with my eyes closed, hands and shoulders relaxed and vocalizing “om” (or “aum”) has started to help. The openness of the “O” lets me release all of the tension in my body. The gentle humming sound and physical, buzzing sensation of the “mmmm” fills my brain and turns my mind away from mental chatter and worry. The whole experience is not unlike the Ocean Sounds or White Noise machines that many of us employ to send our little ones to a restful place at bedtime.
At my next Itsy Bitsy Yoga classes, I think I will recommend this to the moms. Try “om’ing”, or turn on your little one’s sleep machine, close your eyes and listen. Whether your child is learning to roll over, or whether they’re ready for school, it is possible to shut out the worry.